Reflection last Sunday 03/10/2015
After reading my previous posts and just the previous post below this, I have just been amazed about all the things that God has blessed me with and the journey that I have been through over the past two years. I moved into a new country, leaving my home and started university, met truly amazing people in UK, met my amazing boyfriend and became closer to God. There are many different things that I have learnt in between of course but if I could write them all this post would be quite lengthy. I learnt how to be more mindful (which I will talk about in my later posts), more resilient and less anxious. One of the most important things I really learnt was to trust in God and to always believe the best for your future.
Everyone has their own fears. A person could be afraid of spiders, heights, cats, dogs, the fear of the unknown and even the fear of being out of your comfort zone. Each and everyone of us has our own comfort zone where we can truly be ourselves- we can act crazy, sing, shout, dance because we can : we're comfortable. My comfort zone was Ireland. It has been where I have lived since I was seven years old. Even though I'm originally from the Philippines, I always felt more comfortable saying that I'm from Ireland. I felt comfortable because that is where I grew up and spent most of my time. I was comfortable in being surrounded with the same 'banter', people and the Irish land. I was comfortable but I had a dream. A dream to help people, a dream to become an occupational therapist.
During my last secondary school year, I didn't know what I really wanted to do with my life. There were numerous possibilities and endless opportunities. I had no direction and no purpose. I had originally wanted to become a doctor or a musician but I just wasn't sure of it. First of all, becoming a doctor means having to handle a lot of pressure, studying and handling things that I really was not sure I could handle. Secondly, music is something that I love to do, like performing however, actually studying it in a University would probably not suit me. I started to pray about it and decided to do a lot of research. It took me about three weeks and it hit me right on the face- Occupational Therapy.
"creative mind, hard working, helping people"-- I knew that these would definitely suit me. About three months before my Leaving Certificate and I had finally decided what I wanted to do. I started researching the modules for University and even visited a local hospital to gain experience of what an Occupational Therapist does on a daily basis. However, guess what... FEAR started to kick in and I was feeling anxious and panicked. I was worried that I would not do so well and felt low. I placed a lot of doubt and anxiety with me and more importantly, I lost trust in God. I had so much doubts that I did not perform as well as I know I could have.
By the time of the results, I knew that I would not get my course. There are only a few times in which I have burst my tears and this was one of them. I doubted myself and God that I didn't get what I wanted. By the end of August, I just accepted it and went to do Arts in the National University of Ireland, Maynooth choosing Psychology, German and Music. I was incredibly delighted with this offer but I had a feeling there was much more in store for me. I started to talk to God again, letting my fear drain down. I prayed to God and asked him what I should do. The following day, I had the urge to apply to do the course that I had wanted to do. I went into my secondary school and asked if there was any other way to follow my dream. The career guidance counsellor informed me to apply for the United Kingdom and I did. About two months later, I received interviews for the Universities I applied for and eventually settled for York St John University.
So I would say for anyone in doubt, or nervous, anxious, afraid. Do not view your future through regrets, the past, disappointment or hurt because you will lose sight of God's goodness. Life can be painful but life is what you make of it. No matter what you are going through or what is going around you, you must believe the best for your future
Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything Beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart or also placed ignorance in the human heart so that no one can fathom what God has done from
beginning to end. "
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